12-31-03 - A thank-you note from Skye

Deer Fat Man in Thu Big Red Soot,

The big yello hayr laydee sez yoo R cawled "Santuh Clawz" and i m supposta ryt yoo a lettur to say thanx 4 all mi krissmuss pressunts.

THANK YOO SANTUH CLAWZ 4 ALL MI PRESSUNTS! i lyk them all vury allot and want to sho yoo how i maykt them bettur.

This toi is reelee nys and i maykt it bettur by riping offt thu furrz on it. Its bettur now. i kin throw it at thu big yllo hayr ladee'z hed and shee skreems. its fun. hahaha

This toi is so kool. it yoost to bee a bawll wid catz and mys on it, butt i chood theyr fayses offt. and i chood the othur partz offt too. it was gud, but its bettur now.

this is a fuzzd bawl . . .

hahaha i foold yoo. i ayt it in haff and now its bettur. hahaha.

this is mi oktypus. it yoost to be okty, but sins i chood awl it legz offt (iksept 3 uf them) its bettur. now its just a tripty-pus. . . o and it hadd a skweekee in its red fut butt i ayt it. yumyum skweekeez r my favrit.

I luv this toi becuz it mayks me luk cyoot lyk a baybee-dog. Yello hayr laydee sed so and tuk mi piktshur and then i ayt haff of it and its a bettur toi now.

sumbudee got the yello hayr laydee thees skwert gunz and rote on thu tag "frum skye the dog and i will be a gud dog if yoo yoos theez wen i am not behayving."

i hayt theez skwert gunz butt thay mayk me a bettur dog becuz i stop dooing badd things wen i git skwerted. this wuz a STOOPID presunt to giv to yello hayr laydee. Yoo r stoopid.

butt if yoo want too bee mi frend ugen santuh, nekst yeer i want sum noo tois lyk theez wunz:

a dog log. i lyk to dig them owt uf mi bakyurd and choo on them.

a hol to chyna. Big yello hayr laydee sez sum day i will drag hoam a chyna persun if i keep diging. i will keep tri-ing to bring 1 hoam 4 hur and then shee kin lurn how to speek chyneez.

limon pealz becuz i luv them bettur than ornch pealz.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Peace, till next

12-22-03 - Christmas is a'coming and the gnome has been identified!

Pet owners, our questions have been answered! It seems that I have a pretty important cat living with me! I just received an email from Susan who has shed a brilliant light on the whole Underpants Gnome situation! Here 'tis:

-----Original Message-----
From: Susan
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 5:56 PM
To: Heather
Subject: Cats and Underwear Gnomes

Good Day To You Heather,

I just wanted to drop you a note to let you know about the connection between cats and underwear gnomes. It has been my experience that cats only give two kinds of presents to humans - socks and underwear.

Every year for Christmas there are always packages from the cats for us and they are always socks or underwear. I don't know why they give these to us especially when we are so kind as to give them furry mice toys, nice little balls with jingle bells in them, and catnip.

Anyway getting back to that connection. I believe that since Wal-Mart discriminates against cats by not letting them in to do their holiday shopping the cats must turn elsewhere. What you have in your house is a kitty crime boss, or I should say crime queen. Yes, sweet Mehitabel has underwear gnomes in her employ to steal, clean and repackage the underwear then she sells it to other cats so that they may give them as Christmas presents to their unsuspecting humans.

So now you know what is happening, but please don't be too hard on Mehitabel. She is providing a much needed service to other cats of this country.

Hoping you have a Very Merry Christmas,
Susan

Mehitabel, kitty crime boss, underpants gnome and heroine to all feline gift-givers of the world.

Peace, till next

12-18-03 - Questioning the underpants gnome

Guess which Christmas card Skye liked the best? (Click on the picture for a bigger view)

I'll zoom in just in case you can't tell . . .

Skye's favorite card was from JULIE! Congratulations, Julie!

A lot of people wrote in and asked why I keep a camera in my bathroom. Well, truth be told, I don't. I just happen to have a very reliable underpants gnome! (Aren't y'all jealous?)

All I have to do is go into the bathroom and close the door and the underpants gnome's arm appears under the door, reaching and grabbing for an innocent, unsuspecting pair of undies! It's almost like MAGIC!

Play rehearsal starts tonight! WOOHOO! I can hardly wait! We're going to be blocking the show - (which will open in February).

Lots to do today, so I have to make this short. Tomorrow we're heading out to Geof's cabin to do some rock climbing, and then Saturday we're catching a matinee for The Return of the King!!! I heard it's even better than the first two. But as long as Legolas is prancing around in those snug tights, who cares. ;-)

Peace, till next

12-17-03 - Revenge of the underpants gnome

Do any of you watch South Park? If so, you know what the Underpants Gnomes do. And if you don't watch South Park, Underpants Gnomes are the little guys who sneak into your bedroom at night at steal all of your underpants.

I always knew that Brian and I had an underpants gnome living with us. I just never thought I would *see* it in action.

The scene:
My shoebox bathroom. I am seated on the loo, facing the door, shower is on - warming up. My clean clothes selected for that particular day are folded neatly on the floor in front of the bathroom door at my feet (it's a SMALL bathroom) and my underpants are placed on top of the stack of neatly folded clothes.

I am reading Renaissance magazine and I hear a scuffly noise at the base of the door, right in front of my feet, where my clothes are folded, waiting to be worn.

I'm positive it's the ceiling creature, (remember the swollen tongue "leelly big cleeture in tha theelink!")?

so before I even look, I roll up my magazine and am ready to beat the living poo out of whatever is preparing to gnaw my feet off.

In one quick motion, I lift my feet, balance my butt precariously on the bowl, and prepare for the swat-fest of a lifetime. This is what I saw:

Needless to say, I was pretty relieved that it WAS NOT the ceiling critter, but instead, my very own underpants gnome! Now, I have my own suspicions as to who has been stealing my underpants. (Yes, I wear granny undies. You caught me.) See if you can help me solve the mystery:

Who is the underpants gnome?

Peace, till next

12-16-03 - A NOAT FRUM SKYE THA DAWG

Big yello hair ladee sed BAD DAWG to me lots uf tyms today. "SKYE IZ A BAD DAWG!" i doant think i m a bad dawg. i think i m a pritty dawg.

Shee wuz crying all morning becuz i runned away. Normully i run right into tha howse lyk a gud dawg but today i runned rite out tha driveway and far, far away frum owr hows.

i didunt evin lissen to hur wen shee wuz screeming "NOOOO DONT RUNNED AWAY SKYE!!!" i jus lafft at hur and runned away anyhow.

Hahahahaha

Big yello hair ladee cudunt keep up wif me running becuz shee iz not fast lyk mee. Shee iz sloa and stoopid. so shee had to go bak and git tha big bloo truk and droav aroun for milez and milez luking for me and cawling my naym owt "SKYE SKYE COM HOAM SKYE cyrcrycry SKYE I LUV OOOO COM HOAM PLEEEEZ crycrycry"

Hahahahaha

And owrz latr shee finully fownd me in a snofeeld plaaing and all snow-ee and havink so much fun wheeeeeeeeee and itsa gud thing shee brung the bag uf raa-hyde chooz becuz i wudunt have got in tha truck wif her if she hadunt brung them.

Sheez pritty smart.

So shee stuck 1 uf tha raa-hyde chooz owt fer me to eet and cawlled me to tha big bloo truk "COMEER SKYE I LUV OOOO." Wen i camed ovur to hur shee grabd mee and shee thru my butt in tha truk and tuk me hoam and i cood not hav fun anee-moar in tha snofeeld.

i hayt tha big yello hair ladee becuz she never did giv me a raa-hyde choo. Sheez meen. i hayte hur.

Frum Skye The Dawg

Peace, till next

12-14-03 - The tree has landed!

WOOHOO! A bonus Sunday entry! I have fun pictures of our tree-cutting adventure to share. I hope you enjoy them. The weather was absolutely perfect for twee-hunting. (Shhhhh, be vewry, vewry qwuiet. We'we hunting Chwistmas twees. . . .) and big, fat, Christmas snowflakes were falling on us as we trekked through the back forty. Click on any image for a larger, more detailed shot.

The scene as we arrived at the Christmas tree farm. Could we be any more Currier & Ives??

They gave Brian a saw so he could chop our tree. Note the "You call THIS a saw?" look on his face . . Can't you just hear him mumbling "ingingingingwahhhhhhhh" under his breath as I snap the picture?

We actually don't dress as twinsies all the time. But you sure can spot us in a crowd!

Remember Max the Rein-dog from the Grinch?

Bill and Scott look for the FARTHEST tree. Because unless you have to haul it a mile, it just isn't worth it.

The boys head off to do some tree killin'

Bill picks a good one.

Brian finds the perfect tree and gets to work.

And more work . . .
(grumble, grumble . . . no chainsaws allowed . . . grumble, grumble)

SUCCESS!!

Once we find our decorations (we seem to have lost them) I'll post more pictures of our tree (before Skye attacks it.)

Peace, till next

12-13-03 -
Note: SATURDAY'S ENTRY - be sure to read yesterday's entry too, if you missed it!

I was looking back through my emails from one year ago, and found this cheery little number. Since Brian and I are going to be killing trees in the spirit of the holiday season tomorrow, I thought I'd add one more entry for you all. Enjoy! See you next week!

-----Original Message-----
From: Heather
Sent: Thursday, December 13, 2002
Subject: Christmas Joy.

While I was out running errands, I decide to finish up the Christmas shopping, 'cuz the rest of the things we need to get are all on Brian's list of stuff to buy, and he'll wait till December 23, which will make me insane.

So, trying my best to make some beautiful gifts, and following the Martha's Rules of Careful Wrapping, I carefully selected my "theme" wrapping paper: metallic pastels.

I'm already feeling a little dorky about it, but I push onward. I buy the two-sided sticky tape, because Martha says, "If you care about your gift recipients, your tape will not be visible."

Whatever. I throw the tape into the basket and move to aisle three.

Bows and Gift Tags.

Instead of the usual sticky bows that Erin's dogs will eat before the gifts are open, ('cuz the sticky backing NEVER actually STICKS), I select a few dozen rolls of metallic curling ribbon. Already I can
envision my metallic gifts, sparking under the lights of the Christmas tree. My Holiday spirit soars and I completely forget my daily woes. I jam to Band-Aid's Christmas carol blaring over the intercom.

Up and down the aisles, looking for the little stocking stuffer gifties, random candles and "extras" to fill in the spaces and fragrant aromas of spiced pumpkin, orange clove and mulberry fill the air around me.

I get home, clean my living room to a spotless shine, shove Brian's skydiving, kayaking, snowboarding gear into the corner and I've got plenty of room to spread out, dive in and wrap The Most Beautiful Gifts Ever.

Martha has assured me that once these babies are wrapped in my perfectly-hued and adorned papers, it won't even matter what's inside!

So I arrange the gifts into piles. There's Brian's pile, my family, his family, friends and a few extras that I can't remember who they go to.

Scissors.

One would think that a seamstress would be able to find just ONE PAIR of scissors. Nope. Not this week. Brian is sewing this week and he's hidden them.

OK, so I get the KITCHEN scissors (those ones that come with the knife sets - the ones that are dull as toilet paper)

I start to shred my metallic paper. Yes, shred. Martha didn't mention how metallic paper tends to shred and once you go off center, you wind up with strange ziz-zagged messy edges. Martha would scowl, for certain.

No problem though. I remember that Martha advises that I fold the edges before taping with my two sided sticky tape so there are no ragged edges.

Did you know that metallic wrapping paper does not crease? Did you know that with two hands, it's impossible to fold the edge, get a piece of ANY tape, not to mention TWO SIDED STICKY TAPE and secure said edge in place?

OK, so after the first gift is wrapped, I have to alter my plan. It looks like it's been wrapped by a hungry cur.

My folded edges have shreds sticking out and my two-sided sticky tape IS VISIBLE. Now all those black invisible-before,-but-get-them-near- anything-WHITE-or-STICKY cat hairs are poking up off the package like ten-day shaggy beard growth.

I set the package aside for a re-wrap once I've mastered the Martha system.

I try again. This time I don't shred the metallic paper but I'm sick of trying to crease this damn stuff, and I say to hell with the whole folded edge step. Nobody's gonna DIE from having an unfolded edge. I get the sticky tape unstuck from my finger and tape down the edge. No cat hairs - YET, but this tape is *still* visible.

OK, it's not perfect, but it's tolerable. It can be salvaged. I pull out the metallic curling ribbon, choose an appropriate hue to match the metallic paper. Note: This next section is a visual and it may not work, but here goes:

I am on the floor with my "attempt" at Martha wrapping. Curling ribbon is cut and ready to go. I pull it underside, criss- cross it, flip it and try to tie it. It's off center and is not aligning with the "cross" part of the "criss."

Try again with new ribbon, because I've creased the ribbon and it won't curl now. (ummm, why is the ribbon creasing, but not the paper?!?!?!)

Try again. I get to the tie-the-knot part and realize the problem is that I just don't have enough hands!!! So I carefuly bring my big toe out, hold the "criss" at the "cross" do a quick knot and firmly tie my toe to the gift.

Try again. New ribbon, because once again, I've ruined the curling ribbon and it's not curling, but is instead, CREASING.

I swear. Loudly. The cat hisses.

At the last minute, just before I am to tie off a beautiful bow, I yank my toe out of the way and send the gift sailing across the room. The cat loves it. She chews on the curling ribbon. Ever see a cat's tail that's been licked too much? All bony and hairs sticking out and kinda limp? That's what my curling ribbon looked like.

So now the gifts are in a pile. They *are* wrapped. I gave up on the stupid two-sided sticky tape when the cat walked by with a gift stuck to her elbow.

I took a drive to buy a 4-pack of cheap Scotch brand, ditched the two-sided JUNK, and if my family complains about visible tape, I'm going to wrap their gifts in Walmart bags and chunks of silver duct tape forever.

The curling ribbon had to go. The cat tried to eat it off every one of the gifts and I remembered back to the "chicken string incident" and decided I didn't want to be pulling metallic curling ribbon from the
cat's butt on Christmas morning.

The folded edge - yeah, right. I just don't have enough hands. Why does Martha have enough hands? Am I really that hand-challenged????

The labels. There weren't enough. Those super fancy ones only have about 5 per package. I guess I should've checked that out a little closer. I came to a great solution though, once I ran out of them.
Five gifts have beautiful gold-leaf reindeer and wreath gift tags. The rest of the gifts have huge black sharpie permanent marker names scratched
on them . . . because regular pens DON'T WRITE ON METALLIC PAPER.

If Martha saw them, she'd crap on spot.

Me? I'm glad they're done . . . and truth be told, I had a lot of fun, even though they don't look even a little bit like Martha gifts . . . they look TOTALLY like "Heather" gifts.

Merry Christmas! :-) Chop trees safely!

Peace, till next

12-12-03 -
Woohoo - one step closer to the million bucks - and Heather's in the hole!

Cue the music, and start humming the song from Mission Impossible . . . NOW!

Okay, our mission today is to purchase materials for wrapping cases of empty beer and disguising them as PARTING GIFTS.

<music> Dadadaaaaa. . . . Dadadaaaaaa. . .

Driving time to store: 4 minutes.
Time at store: 15 minutes.
Purchased: Paper, tape and half a dozen other impulse items, including a one-pound tub of French onion dip and a pound of rippled potato chips, which will translate into 10 pounds of butt fat once ingested.
Total amount spent: $25.42
Driving time home: 7 minutes. (Stuck behind a school bus)

Time to package each box: 6.5 minutes. Dog was helping.
Time to add colorful stickers to each box: 12 minutes per box.
Added note (authored by Brian): When you open this gift, you may think me a *****, but if answers you seek, just read "The Stitch."

Reaction of boys when they open their Survivor Parting gifts: PRICELESS

My Reaction when I finally realize (after all that wrapping and sticker-application) that I won't be there to see THEIR reactions: Even MORE PRICELESS

The Parting Gifts

Time invested: 155.5 minutes
Funds invested: $25.42, plus the loss of bottle return money
Weight gained from potato chips and dip: ten pounds of butt fat

And the funny thing is that I did all of this just so *I* wouldn't have to return the bottles. If I *had* taken the bottles back, I could've made $5, saved 141.5 minutes and avoided ten pounds of butt
fat. . .

But then I wouldn't have had anything to write about today. ;-)

As Geof took his parting gifts out the door, he started down the driveway, shook the box, then came back to the window, looked at me and said, "YOU'RE EVIL!!!!!"

Hehehehe. Then I went to bed and felt guilty about it. Go figure.

Tim arrived in full Survivor costume !

Our hero, Brian, making personal "Survivor" cheesecakes for us!

Survivor, my predictions for the final episode:

The women will vote Johnny Snotball off ASAP. Nobody can win against Lill if it comes down to her against someone else - all the jury loves her and will choose her to win the cash, so Sandra and Darrah will vote off Lill. Of the final two, Darrah and Sandra, fewer people from the jury dislike Darrah, so she will win the million bucks.

Of course, if the Snotball wins immunity, all bets are off and I will never watch Survivor again.

Until next season when Rupert comes back. ;-) YAY, RUPERT!

Peace, till next

12-11-03 - Day of Rupert
Only ONE episode left - this Sunday! Tune in to watch our hero Rupert speak his mind! Rupe, buddy, you ROCK!

I have two sisters. Shannon is a creative home-beautification-Martha-type (Don't get me wrong, it's a very good thing.) - and we lovingly pick on her about it and she says "I am NOT!" (I can even guarantee that as she reads this, she is saying, "I AM NOT!")

Erin is the opposite of Martha - and we pick on her about it too - but the difference is that Erin could care less what other people think of her creative-crafty skills (or lack thereof). Afterall, Erin has *other* talents.

Erin can whip up the tastiest batch of her infamous "Dog Vomit Dip" better than ANYONE I know. (Recipe at the bottom of the page. A huge hit at ANY party, especially Survior or Fear Factor Parties).

Erin can do my taxes - and actually ENJOY working with all those crunchy numbers. <shudder>

Erin has an oh-so-dry, but hysterically funny sense of humor.

Erin has colorful lingustic skills.

And we love her for it.

Anyhoo

I am now obligated to make daily phone calls to Mom AND Erin - since Erin is out on maternity leave and the only human contact she has all day in Booneyville is a two month old baby.

(Sample Mommy Erin: ooooo, you gots some nastybonez in dat bottle, dontcha? Yep! Give mommy a big ole dino-roar burpy . . )

Since she found out that I now have free long distance, she feels I should be using it to help her have grownup conversations - on a *daily* basis.

(Sample email volley between Heather and Erin, after Heather hasn't made a "daily" phone call in a few days:

----- Original Message -----
From: Heather
To: Erin
Sent: Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Subject: Ideas??

Any ideas for (a certain family member's) gift??????

----- Original Message -----
From: Erin
To: Heather
Sent: Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Subject: Ideas??

hmmmm... maybe a "daily call" would jog my brain...

She's so subtle.

I call. <ring ring>

Erin: <eager for her morning grown-up call, does a perfect beer commercial> Whaaazzzzzzuuuuuuup??????

Me: Whaaazzzzzzuuuuuuup??????

Skye in background: Growls at his butt because he has passed gas and it has scared him.

Baby in background at Erin's: gaaafurgunklekump

Erin: <aside> oooooooyersuchatalkyboy! <to me> So, whassup? Ready for your Survivor party tonight?

Me: No - I gotta get rid of all these beer empties! Every week the boys bring a couple cases of beer and leave them here - I've got several FULL cases, and a dozen EMPTIES taking over my kitchen! We look like crazy beer addicts! And nobody takes the empties back for refunds! What to do? What to do?

Erin: <pause> DUDE! You need PARTING GIFTS!

Me: Wha-Whaaaaaa?? <very curious>

Erin: HAHA! Get some wrapping paper, and wrap all those empty cases up all pretty and shiny with colorful bows and ribbons and as the boys are leaving tonight, GIVE THEM AWAY AS PARTING GIFTS!!!! Do it as they leave and tell them they can't open them until they get home!!!!

Heather: <GASP!> Girl, you are a berblippity GENIUS! I am truly IMPRESSED!

Erin: WOOHOO! Just call me Ghetto Martha! You gotta tell Shannon I thoughta this! She will be sooooooooo proud!

So tonight the boys will be given beautifully wrapped cases of empty beer bottles as parting gifts. Brilliant. I wish *I* had thought of it.

Recipe for Erin's Dog Vomit Dip:
One Crock Pot
One Skillet
One Spoon
Package of hot sausage
Package of Velveeta - the big one
Jug o' Salsa
Bag o' tortilla chips

Fry sausage. Dump it - and everything else all into crockpot and turn crockpot on. Stir when ya think of it. When it looks like dog vomit, stick a tortilla chip into it, scoop lots of chunks, and devour.

Be sure to impress all your friends by telling the name of the dip. That's the best part.

Peace, till next

12-10-03 - I really have nothing to write about

But I will anyway - just so you can hear Skye panting from the page below. If you're at work, you can turn it up loud and play it over the intercom so the whole office can appreciate it. I'll let you in on a little secret - it's not really Skye making all that noise. It's BRIAN. Isn't he a great actor? I bet you really thought it was Skye, didn't you? He does me proud. :-)

My fearless canine protector did a stellar job saving my life from a monster this morning. I hung a Christmas wreath in the ouside of the door's window, so from inside the house, all you can see is the dark, ominous backside shadow of a mean, scary Christmas wreath.

Skye took one look at it, said

FOOF!

and ran away to hide.

Last night he enjoyed a fine meal of a stack of photographs. He has his good days and bad days. We're still working on the bad ones.

Has everyone finished Christmas shopping? I'm close to finished. And at the rate I'm going, everyone will have opened their gifts from me by next week. I wish I could appreciate a good surprise, but I'm a gifty-monster and utterly incapable of keeping a gifty-secret.

My dad will be flying back to NY soon to celebrate Christmas - I can't wait to have the family all together. This is why I love Christmas so much - there's nothing cozier than having the whole fam-damily around. I love it. And Brian and I get to celebrate Christmas like a gazillion times! How lucky are we??? We're doing Christmas Eve with my immediate family (sisters, their sig-ot's and mom and dad. . .

Then we're going to spend the night at mom's, get up in the morning to head back to Erin's for A Very Bryanna-Ethan Christmas (time to spoil the kids with REALLY obnoxiously LOUD toys and teach them bad habits! They *love* Uncle Brian and Aunt Heather - or as Erin calls me "Aunt Teek.")

Then later we're off to my other sister's open house, then back to Rochester to spend some time with a few of Brian's family members!

On the 26th, we're going to do Christmas with Brian's ENTIRE family, then on the 27th, we've got birthdays to celebrate!

All I know is that we're gonna be spending a lot of quality time with some SERIOUSLY good eats and even BETTER people, so that makes me a *really* lucky gal! ;-) Now, if we could just talk Brian's mom into getting back down here . . . <HINT>

So much for not having anything to write about! I guess I did afterall! ;-) Don't forget - tomorrow is DAY OF RUPERT. Then it's only one or two more episodes left! We're going to hold the BIGGEST, BADDEST Survivor Finale party ever, and burn stuff. (We have a big brush pile and Brian wants to have a Survivor Bonfire party.)

I'll let you know if I survive. ;-)

Peace, till next

12-09-03 - "It's KILLIN' time, baby!"

This is what I hear now. "It's KILLIN' time, baby!" Why? Because I gave Brian his Christmas present (an X BOX with killin' games) too early, so now whenever I ask what he plans to do with his spare time, he responds with,

"It's KILLIN' time, baby!"

It's a great answer and covers a range of possibilities:

he is planning to kill some time . . .
or it's time to do some killin'

He doesn't care how I look at it - as long as he's got that control stick attached to his body like an additional appendage, and the guns are shootin' fast enough, he's a happy li'l camper. :-)

Now, my normally sweet, handsome, kind, generous, calm and patient fella undergoes some sort of Jeckyll-Hyde transformation whenever he plays these games. I have to keep reminding him that these are to help him R E L A X. . .

Sexy Woman's Game Voice: Sorry, soldier, that's not good enough! If you want to protect those Jedi knights, you've got to do better than that!

Brian: <bouncing in chair> GIVE ME BETTER GUNS IF YA WANT ME TO SAVE THEM!!! <bounce bounce bounce>

Sexy Woman's Game Voice: Fighter, you'll have to clear out all those enemy vessels faster than that! Come on! We're losing them!

Brian: STOP SCREAMING AT ME AND START SHOOTING! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! DO SOMETHING, YOU LAZY COW!!!!!

Frantic Dying Droid: WOOOOOAAAAOOOWWWW!

Brian: SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF MY WAY! <bounce bounce bounce> AHHHH! NOOOOO!!! DIE! DIE!! DIE!!!!!!

Brian: <gets killed, turns to me smiling and says> This is AWESOME!

I feel a little guilty that I already gave him his Christmas present, but this is much more entertaining than television. (With the exception of Day of Rupert)

On another note, Brian and I are going to start a fun little site featuring the antics of Skye and Mehitabel. He made a VERY cool flash intro and here it is:

*Note* We had to remove the flash animation temporarily because everyone who listened to it was accused of watching porn on their computer (with all that panting and heavy breathing) Brian will shorten the panting loop and we'll get it back online for you soon. ;-)

I hope you like it!

Peace, till next

12-08-03 - it's vrey clod osutdie!

I raed smoewehre taht if you wrtie somteihng, and you mix up all the ltteers ecxpet the frist and lsat letetrs of evrey wrod, the hmuan brian can *sitll* raed and udnrestnad waht is benig raed wtihuot hradly slwonig the reaidng prosecs dwon!

Very interesting, eh?

My friend Krista is out near Boston and she got blizzards this weekend. What did we get? COLD weather, but no snow! That's a FIRST!

I did a bit of Christmas shopping last week and I bought Brian's Christmas gift. However, as you all know, I'm horrible at keeping gift secrets and I wound up giving it to him yesterday. There's no way I could have waited until the 25th. Besides, he already knew what it was anyway, so it's not like it was going to be a surprise. :-P

I was kinda hoping he'd give me a hint about what he got me - 'cuz he keeps telling me how it's SOMEWHERE in the house . . .

I have disgusting toe rot. My feet are always cold, so I wear socks all the time. Including to bed. Because of it, the little hairs on my toes are all being pulled out by the sock fibers, making little worry bumps all over my toe-tops. It's gross.

Add to the mix a very hyper dog with sharp claws, who is clumsier than I am and is constantly ripping said claws across the tops of my poor, already shattered toes - and you've really got a mess.

Brian and the boys were going to take down our worry tree this weekend, but a combination of things happened to delay this impending disaster. (Can't you just hear a chorus of chainsaws ing-ing-ing-innnnnnggggggg echoing in your ear?)

Plus, before they dig in, I really want to make sure our insurance will cover any damage they may do to the house in the event that the tree falls through it as they cut it down.

This upcoming weekend we're going to a Christmas tree cutting party with the Colburns and friends - I will supply pictures and commentary, because this will certainly be a day of fun and adventure! (Chainsaws, falling trees, ropes and alcohol. You do the math!)

Brian and I have also been cast in this year's community theatre play - I will be playing the part of Trudy, a ditzy flapper, and Brian will be playing the part of a detective. The play takes place during the roaring 20s on a cruise ship, and it's going to be a costuming bonanza! Expect a lot of new designs from the 20s to be popping up on the website! ;-)

Projects right now include a lot of wedding gowns, some neck ruffs (one for a pup named Sir William Shakespeare!) and an incredible metallic gold Marie Antoinette pannier gown! Having LOTS of fun! :-) Pictures soming soon! :-)

Peace, till next

12-05-03 - Bad Heather, Bad Heather!

I promise, I'm not a slug - things have just been really busy around here. I will update soon - and will include pictures of Brian and Co. taking down the worry tree that fell halfway down a few weeks ago.

It's a worry tree, because I'm now worried about Brian and Co. taking it down the rest of the way. . .

More to come! :-)

Peace, till next