|
|
|
|
June 'Stitch' Archive
Read from the bottom, up - newer entries are on top!
|
6/30/03 - MODAY!!! Wake up, it's MONDAY!!!! Great weekend! I hope you all had as muh fun as I did. Even if you had *half* as much fun as I did, I can be assured that you had a GREAT one! We started off on Saturday - I finished up some work, and Brian picked me up after a morning of Skydiving. We drove out to Letchwork State Park for some kayaking. Please take a few minutes to check out some of the amazing New York scenery, it's worth it . . . . Click on each of the links below: Hazy
picture at dusk It's no wonder I love New York so much. :-) Anyway, in the pictures you can get a good idea how far down we have to hike to get to the river. You also get an idea of how steep any trail is gonna be too. Dragging a kayak is a simple feat going DOWN the hill. COming back up is another story. To get to the bottom, simply toss your gear into the kayak, throw the kayak on ground, stick your paddle into the front of the kayak, and give it a good shove down the hill. You can steer the kayak (somewhat) by guiding it with your paddle. You'll want to do this if there are other people on the trail - trust me, they DO NOT LIKE being run down by wayward kayaks. Once you get to the bottom, be prepared to drag your kayak a couple hundred feet to the put in - but it's not too bad - you can hear the water by the time you reach the bottom of the gorge, and it gets you all antsy to hit the water! Do the happy kayak skirt dance, hop in, paddle upstream and play in the surf holes a bit. Once you're tired of that, you can park and drag over some more rocks, and get yourself past the surfholes (You can't really paddle upstream past them, so park and drag past them) There's a nice calm, deep hole past the surf holes where you can practice rolling (if you're into that sort of deviant behavior) ;-) And further up is some MAJOR white water. The boys love playing at Letchworth. I love watching them - mostly because I am the worst roller on the planet. I still don't have the hang of it - but that's ok, because I love hiking and looking for crawfish just as much as they love kayaking. So the typical Letchworth day will end with the boys making a run of the entire strip at the base of the trail - it doesn't take more than ten minutes, and then will play in the surfholes for a while longer before making the trek back to the trucks. . . . Yeah. That's the part that lingers in the back of your mind while shoving that kayak DOWN the hill at the start of the day . . . "At some point, I will have to drag this flame pink critter back UP the hill." It takes me almost an hour to do it. I have to stop frequently and my heart always feels like it is going to explode from my chest as I make that hike back up. I don't feel bad though - even Brian has to rest a few times on the way up, and he is Superman. Personally I prefer the Salmon River - you can drive the kayak to the water's edge, hop in and paddle for a full day without ever having to walk. It's calm at the first stretch, and scary at the second stretch, so it really has good water for every skill level. And how cool is this picture? <ponder, pause, ponder, pause> Geeesh, I'm ready for
another day off! Boys, pack up the gear! Let's go! (Knowing full
well that I won't have to twist their arms very hard to convince
them!) Anyone out there wanna come with us? Just remember - you
have to carry your own kayak! ;-) Peace, till next. |
|
6/26/03 - Thursday!!! Lazy, Hazy Heather . . . Whewwwwwwww - it is PASSIONATE outside. I think it's s'posed to hit the 90s today - and for anyone who has never experienced Lake Ontario summer, it's usually fairly moist when the temperatures rise. I'm not complaining though . . . well, ok, I *am* complaining. It's hot. Big YAY to dear friend Adam who we went to dinner with last night at California Rollin'. This was my first sushi experience ever, and, although it was good, I don't know if I'll be knocking down any paper walls to get my hands on it. Our waitress was GREAT though. I heartily give it two thumbs and two toes up if you like sushi - or even if you don't - it's a comfy place with colorful ambiance. Adam looks soooo healthy, happy, lively! It always gives me tickletoes when my friends and loved ones are doing well. There's no better feeling in the world, in fact! I love hearing about the successes of dear ones. :-) Man, it's hot. Makes me wanna run around nekkid and eat sherbet with my fingers all day. Makes me wanna bathe in sherbet all day. Back in my youth, I would spend summers at my grandparent's camp on Lake Ontario. Life was sooooo easy. *sigh* <mind wanders> Here was our typical day: Get up I see the moon, the moon sees me, shining through the old oak tree. Please let the light that shines on me shine on the one I love. . . Eat more marshmallows That lemony-orange-citrus sun and hazy, dusty film that settles into each of my summer memories on Lake Ontario - I can't decide if that's truly the way it was, or if the memories are simply gathering dust. I yearn for that youthful simplicity and I want to spend the whole day walking lazily along the damp sandy shores of my lake. . . . <snap to reality> Where the blood suckers will get ya if you're not careful. Someone once told me that blood suckers (leeches) will attach their nasty, slimy black tar bodies to yours and then burrow deep, deep inside your veins, crawling around, living inside you, sucking your blood, until you slowly wither, and ultimately DIE. I love walking along the shore of Lake Ontario collecting shells and rocks and sea glass . . . which makes me a prime target for blood suckers. I was about 8 years old the first time I saved myself from leech death. I had been exploring the shore of the little beach on Sandy Pond and felt those "I gotta pee" urges creeping around in my belly. So I tiptoed my way to the facilities - which, back then, was a rustic tin-walled shack, with one toilet, no lights, and a crapload of cobwebs and spiders. Unpleasant, but necessary for moments like these. I pulled my bathing suit down, squatted . . . <hearing mom's warning voice scream, "NEVER SIT ON PUBLIC TOILET SEATS, YOU WILL CATCH BUTT-CHEEK-ROT!"> and started to pee. (mom also told us that if we played with our belly buttons too much, they would come unscrewed and our butts would fall off) It was dark inside that little shack, but a small window near the roof allowed a bit of sun into the room. Enough sunshine for me to see the BIG BLACK OOZY CREEPY CRAWLY BLOODSUCKER that had attached itself to my scrawny leg. The blood started to drain from my face . . . and then I could feel it draining from my body - I WAS GOING TO DIE!!!!! I jumped up from my squatting position, unable to control my bladder and managed to completely soak my bathing suit - AND the inside of the bathroom. In my hysterical panic, I started running around frantically, slamming into walls, wrapping my entire body with cobwebs and spider skeletons that were older than I was. I was a mess, and I was DYING! Finally, a moment of sanity hit me and I was able to regain my composure long enough to realize that nobody else could save me, and if I did NOT pull this creature off my leg, I WAS GOING TO DIE. I braced my body against the wall of bug-carcassed webs, bent over, held my breath, grasped the slimy creature with two fingers, closed my eyes and yanked that nastymiserablesonofabitch off my leg and threw it against the wall in one swift motion. Saved. <DEEP breath> I WAS SAVED! I was not going to die and I would live to a ripe old age and . . . I . . . <looking around, sweating, breathing heavily> was a damned <gasp, hard swallow> HERO!!!! I had saved myself and become a SUPERHERO and <gasp> and . . . <looking around again, gasp> <noticing soaked bathing suit, soaked floor> thank LUCKY CHARMS nobody saw it! <gasp, filled with I-just-wet-myself-horror> and I am . . . <looking at arms> now covered with . . . <squinting, looking closer> <ahhhhh, criminy-sneepers!!!!!> SPIDERS!!!!!! I burst from the tiny shack, swimsuit soaked, wrapped around my ankles, tripping me, causing me to lose my balance and land in a pile of dust-clouding sand. I've got cobwebs, sweat and pee dripping from my entire body, I am now coated with pee-sweat-mud, and I have an entire beach audience waiting for me on the other side of the door. . . . Hmmm. Maybe I don't miss those days so much afterall. Where's that sherbet? Peace, till next. |
|
6/24/03 - Tuesday!!! Summer has arrived, FINALLY! There are actually only a few things on this earth that I truly fear. I've learned how to have a healthy respect for certain things, and others, I simply avoid - but there are a few things that can knock that good old-fashioned crawl-behind-the-door-and pray-the-beatings-will-kill-me-swiftly type of fear in my heart. One of those few things has always been that friendly little company we all know as the IRS. Anytime I receive one of their sterile white envelopes in the mail, I can feel my hair start to fall out strand by falsely-colored strand. Now, the worst-case-scenario would be the dreaded "audit," so I have saved *every* receipt since my birth, I have kept flawless, OCD-level records of every purchase, every penny, every transaction throughout my life. They are stored in boxes - which will be saved until the day I die. Brian says I'm obsessive. I prefer to think I'm "meticulous." I do not fear the audit. What I fear is the possibility that I will have made a mathematical error somewhere along the way and I will wind up in tax prison - and tax prison is VERY SCARY. Every year, like the good little self-employed critter that I am, I wade through forms, figures and finances to make sure that I pay Uncle Sam exactly what I owe him. I don't mind doing it. I don't complain about it. I don't even "fudge" it - I err on the side of caution, and I will never run the risk of making Sammy angry, 'cuz I hear he's got a helluva temper and I don't want him throwing lightening bolts in my direction. So, lucky me. Yesterday not only did I get *one* special delivery letter from Uncle Sammy. I got TWO. I double-timed my pasty white bottom home to see what the fuss was about Letter One: You're an idiot. You messed up your taxes. You owe us $500, with interest. Pay it or we're taking the stinkycat. Letter Two: Wow, honey. You're really broke. You spent every penny you made investing it on new equipment for your business - what were you thinking? Take a vacation or something! Geesh! We would like to give you some money because we feel sorry for you. Send this letter back to us if you want it. I tend to believe the "you owe us" letter. Mistakes are possible - I am far from flawless when it comes to math. However, this whole "we want to give you free money" thing has me freaked. So I call their toll free number, press fifty buttons, wait on hold, and finally I am put in touch with Badge Number glablahblahblahber (hesaysitsofaastIcan'tunderstandhwatheissaying) But for discussion purposes, we'll call him Badger One. (Fun, isn't it?) :-) Me: So, Badger One, I've got some mail from you folks. I *want* to be a good little taxpayer, so please, please tell me what I've done wrong and I will gladly send you the money. <smiling broadly, kindly, *honestly* into phone receiver> <pause, Cringe, waiting for the beating to commence> Badger One: <joy oozing from his pores, responding gleefully!!> Why certainly, Ma'am! In fact, I'm going to spend as much time as you need explaining every single step to you - even if I have to do it a zillion times. And when I'm done, I am going to package up some very fabulous and FREE "home based business" books for you to help you understand this stuff and walk you through everything step by step by step! Me: <gasp> Whoa! <knocking phone on table> Ummm, am I speaking to the IRS? I thought you guys were s'posed to be mean and scary! Badger One: That's just a rumor, ma'am. We want to help you! Me: <pause, trying to wrap my mind around it> Mmmmmm-kay! So you don't hunt folks down in the middle of the night for not paying their taxes? Badger One: <serious tone, voice drops to barely above whisper level> Well, no, Ma'am - we will do that. And we'll do other stuff too, if we need to <pause> <Gleeful again!> but we only do that to people who try to cheat us! If you're honest and do things by the book, you will never have to worry about ANYTHING! <I can hear him smiling broadly into the phone.> Me: So people who are good little taxpayers don't have anything to fear? Badger One: That's RIGHT! <another smile through the phone> <I smile back, knowing I will never have to fear the IRS again - because I am the good little taxpayer POSTER CHILD> So, Badger One and I spent an hour chatting back and forth. He explained EVERYTHING to me in plain English, walked me through every step. He pointed out my error - and even told me it was a very common error too! He explained that because my profit margin was so slim that I was actually eligible to receive an Earned Income Credit (WOOHOO!!!!) and then he told me that they would apply my earned income credit to the money I owe from my error! Me: Badger One, You're my HERO! Badger One: Awwww, shucks Ma'am. I'm just doin' my job. <BIG ol'e telephone smile> Me: Badger One, may I ask? You've got my forms there - looking at them, apart from this one mistake - does it look like I'm doing everything else right? Badger One: Ma'am, you're doing GREAT. <beaming smile> I have come to love the sound of the IRS smiling at me. So, dear readers, I learned that the IRS is NOT filled with characters from Where the Wild Things Are! They are just really nice, friendly, helpful people who *do* want to help you! All you have to do is report your income, pay your tax bill and save your receipts! Oh, and be nice to them! After all, they are people too and even IRS folks need a hug now and then! I can honestly say that my IRS experience has been a truly PLEASANT one! They gave me toll free numbers to call if I *ever* have questions for them. They even said that I can call them before I send in next year's tax return and they would be delighted to go over it with me, step-by step-by step. I am no longer afraid of the IRS and I can even say that they have some of the NICEST people working for them, and their customer service skills are positively IMPECCABLE! In fact, If they sent me a bumper sticker, I would even put it on my car! don't hate me because Peace, till next. |
|
6/23/03 - Monday! Hug a Geeky Guy or Geeky Gal Day! Star Date June 21, 2002, one year ago: Brian and the boys plan a weekend skydiving trip. When Heather finds out, she FREAKS. It's her birthday and the boys FORGOT. Brian winds up canceling plans at the verylastminute and spends a very romantic day with Heather. :-) He rocks. Star Date June 13, 2003 - one week before Heather's birthday: Geof: Hey! Since everyone is around next weekend, let's have a team practice - and let's do some mountain biking and geeky boy stuff. (Okay, he didn't say "geeky boy stuff," but that's what I heard.) Me: Uhhhhh, NO?!?! It's MY BIRTHDAY and Brian has promised to do stuff with me! You guys ALWAYS do geeky boy stuff! I get to have ONE WEEKEND for Geeky Heather Birthday Stuff! Geof: What, do you think?? It's all about you or something??? Me: Uhhhh, YEAH! It's MY BIRTHDAY! It *IS* all about me. If you want to give up your weekend and do GEEKY GIRL stuff with me, you can! But NO GEEKY BOY STUFF this weekend!!!! Geof: <troll-ish giggle> Well, I think I'm gonna throw a cabin party since everyone is going to be around. . . . Oh yeah - everyone except YOU! Me: <angry face> That's not fair! You know it's my birthday! Why can't you wait until AFTER my birthday? Geof: <hard belly laughs, holding stomach - he's prolly gonna wet himself he thinks he's so .....grrrr....... funny> So I stewed all week about Geof's party and how mean he was being. . . One weekend. That's all I wanted! One weekend for geeky GIRL stuff! So I spend the week making little Geof voodoo dolls and tossing them to the cat. Friday comes. Brian is supposed to be home from work at 5:30 and he has instructed me to 'be ready.' "Ready for what?" I asked! "Ready for ANYTHING," he said. So I put on my "ready for anything" clothes and hop in the car. West, he drove. Me: <bouncing excitedly> Where are we going? He: West. We drove west for about an hour, and I said, "We're going to Darien Lake or to Geof's cabin" (the only two places I know "west") We approach the Darien Lake exit and Brian screeches: Here it comes! Here's the Darien Lake exit HERE IT . . . . GOES! He zips past the exit and bursts into laughter . . . then . . . .slows . . . down . . . . I jump forward looking to see where we're going and I break into a giant "Awwwwwwwww!" followed by a <grin> He knows this geeky gal SO well! He's pulling into my *favorite* fine dining establishment for a gourmet feast. He gets a shower of kisses as he pulls up to the window and screams "A bucket of extra crispy, slaw and mashed taters!" I grin ear-to-ear as he orders an extra side of biscuits for me. He pulls out of the parking lot and continues west toward Geof's cabin - and I'm starting to get a little nervous. I know there's Geeky Boy stuff at Geof's, and I'm wondering if Geof has somehow convinced Brian that I really *would* enjoy some sledding off the cabin roof into the pond . . . We are at the last stoplight before the turnoff to Geof's cabin. I think Brian has noticed the look on my face and he turns his signal light on in the direction of Geof's cabin. I can see him checking my reaction out of the corner of his eye and he deflects pending anger with "Want to open one of your presents???" Wellllllll, that's a SILLY question! My mood is restored as he plucks a brilliantly wrapped masterpiece of festive shiny sparkly paper and hands it to me. I tear off the wrapping excitedly and inside is the most amazing interesting white Styrofoam cylinder . . . what the??? "Open it!!!" he screeches, giggling excitedly. "I got it from a vending machine!" mmmmmm-ok. I pull back the plastic lid and I'm so happy I could bite my toes! "I've got WORMS!" I cried! My darling fiancé had bought me a giant container of the biggest fatty nightcrawlers on the planet! He was taking me FISHING! WOOHOO! I *love* fishing!!!!!! Geeky Boy Cabin situation has been become Geeky GIRL cabin situation - Brian decided to risk the wrath of Heather -- that all would be forgiven as soon as I figured out that they had actually planned an "All about Heather" Geeky Girl Cabin event. But wait, there's more. :-) We arrived at Geof's and the boys lead me to the barn, where they have saddled the horses for a sunset ride in the back pastures. *sigh* I'm so touched that I almost cry - I can't believe what has been planned for me. For those who don't know - horseback riding and fishing are probably two of my favorite pastimes. And I'm blown away that Brian has gone to such elaborate lengths to plan this! So we ride, stuff our bellies full with KFC, biscuits and slaw, and spend the evening with Jeremiah bullfroggin' and some moonlight mist fishing. It was *heaven* :-) Saturday morning Brian and I traveled east to see my family. Erin made a fabulous litterbox cake - complete with tootsie roll turds hanging off the sides of the litter pan. It was DELISH! My family pitched in for a Home Depot gift certificate and a bag of nasty used socks (to wipe up all the paint I'm gonna spill in the new house!) (Thank you, family!) Brian's mom sent a blouse (which I wore that night!) and a book about old home remodeling (it's a BIBLE of old home renovating!) with a note inside: "So you will always know if the boys are going about a project in the right way!" ;-) (Thank you, Mom!) Brian gave me gardening tools, fuzzy velvet tights, grommeted tights (to wear while gardening! hehehe) and a BIG FINALE on Saturday night! We drove into Rochester, passed a big old brick building with thousands of people gathered outside. A huge sign stood outside the door as we drove past: "SOLD OUT SHOW!" Me: Is this where we are going? He: MAYBEEEEEEEEEEE?????? Me: Ummm, it's sold out - do you have tickets? He: Boy, I sure hope so! Me: What is it????? Is it a play? A concert? WHAT??? He: It's a "Sold out!" Me: Ha. Ha. Ha. We park. I have no idea what we're doing. I only know it's sold out. There are no posters. None of the members of this enormous crowd are discussing what's happening inside. Then I remembered something I had heard the week before. . . . My friend Adam had told me that GUSTER was coming to Rochester on June 24. . . . Now, I have TWO verymostfavorite bands. One is Seven Nations. The other is Guster. When Adam told me they were coming to town, I had emailed Brian asking him to see if it was true - and if so, to get tickets! This flashed in my head - and I thought, "But it's not the 24th!" Me: this isn't Guster, is it? They aren't supposed to be here until the 24th!?!?! He: Welllll, I talked to my people and worked it out so they would do a special show on your birthday. <wink> KFC Dinner: $25 Worms from a vending machine: $2.50 Dazzling sunset: Free Geof misleading Heather into thinking that her birthday was going to be a Geeky boy event: $6.32 in voodoo doll sewing supplies My guy Brian: Priceless, and a definite keeper. ;-) Peace, till next. |
|
6/19/03 - Thursday! <grumble> Laundry Day :-( Speaking of being assimilated, you must CLICK HERE I sent the link to Brian and he responded via email: WOW!! That's great, should we do that in just the living room or the whole downstairs... <Looking frantically for Brian's mom> Ummmmmm? HELP? Brian's a Trekkie. I had never dated a Trekkie before I met Brian, so when I first moved in with him and saw him watching Trekkie stuff, I was a little nervous. At the time, the only thing I knew about Trekkies was that they email me frequently wanting to buy costumes for their conventions. So I knew that these folks were REALLY serious about their costumes and conventions. REALLY serious. I wasn't sure *how* much of a Trekkie Brian was . . . Brian watches Voyager each night before falling asleep - I get the impression that Voyager isn't *quite* the coolest Trekkie series - but if it's on TV before bed, it should be watched. Now, the *only* taste of Star Trek I have ever had is that episode about Fribbles (Wait - I think that's a Friendly's shake) Maybe it's Tribbles or something like that. <shrugs> I dunno. . . So this Voyager show left me with a TON of questions for darling Bri - (who really should be sainted for putting up with my constant interruptions) Me: Why is Seven of Nine the only one who wears a skin tight jump suit? Brian: Because she CAN. Me: Why doesn't she have a red or a yellow stripe at the top? Brian: Babe, she doesn't really need one, does she? Me: But then she's not so very "uniform" like everyone else - why is that? Brian: Because she is now an individual. Me: So there's a really DEEP hidden meaning in her clothing? Brian: Babe, look at her. Do you think they cast her for ANY sort of deep hidden meanings? <brief pause for commercial> Me: So who is THAT guy? <pointing enthusiastically at tv> I've never seen HIM before! Why is HE going on such a very important mission? Brian: he's the guy who will die in about five minutes. Me: How do you know? Brian: Trust me. Me: And what's with this replicator stuff? You're telling me that they can make ANY food out of nothing? Brian: No, they make it out of SOMETHING. You can't just make SOMETHING out of NOTHING. Me: What do they make it out of? <New guy gets killed> Me: Holy Cow, Brian! Did you see that?? <pointing enthusiastically at TV> That guy got killed! How did you know? Brian: I told ya! I'm BRILLIANT! <cheesy grin> So I've learned lotsa stuff about Voyager: *The chick with the hottest bod gets the tightest suit. *They can make cheesecake out of anything - and if they want runts, all they have to do is say "Computer, Runts." The computer will even take out the icky 'nanner ones. *The new guy always dies *Brian is very, very patient and very, very brilliant *Every episode
can be summarized like this: I still don't know anything about Star Trek - which I guess is a really different critter altogether. I still have not see a full episode other than the Fribble/tribbles one. Mmmmm. Fribble. ;-) "Computer, Fribble." Peace, till next. |
|
6/18/03 - Wednesday! Softball Avoidance Day BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG is cheerful noise that tickled my sleepy li'l Sleeping Beauty ears this morning. I awoke expecting chirpy chickadees to land on my delicate finger, mice to wrap me in silk robes, and the sun's rays to shine on my golden locks as angels whispered songs of peace to me. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG <cat freaks out and runs across my face: BAP-BAP-SKITTER-BAP> What the????? Who on EARTH wakes up on a Wednesday at 7am and decides that TODAY is the PERFECT day to lay carpet in the hallway right outside Brian and Heather's door? My landlord, that's who. :-) <~~~ sarcastic smile I can't wait to move into the new house. <grumble, mutter> Where's the freaking coffee. (Click here) And when you're done playing with that, click here. And when you're done with that, I need another cup of coffee, please, because the BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG directly on the other side of this wall isn't quite loud enough yet. *sigh* Peace, till next. |
|
6/17/03 - Tuesday! (four more days!) Brian came back from N'awlins with a plain brown paper bag and announced that there were magnificent gifties for ME inside. (I danced, joyfully!) But then he said, "NO SNOOPING!" So what does he do to keep me from snooping? I'll tell ya! He left the bag on his desk right here at home! Right there in plain snoopable view! I've been SOOOO tempted. I wanted just a tinylittleittybitty peek; just a preview of the coming attraction. But I *know* how disappointed he will be if I spoil the surprise, and that look of disappointment always, always breaks my heart, so I call my gal Ambie. "Am! He's left the present bag RIGHT ON HIS DESK! Can you believe it???? All I have to do is lift one corner and I could see it! Just ONE LITTLE PEEK!!" Am: Heath, don't do it! You'll ruin the surprise! Surprises are GOOD. Trust me! You'll be so disappointed if you peek! Heather: Ohhhhh, It's killin' me! Ambie: DON'T DO IT! Heather: ARRRRRRGH!!!!!! So I leave it ALONE. For FOUR DAYS I stalked that bag. I came SO CLOSE to peeking - but I didn't do it! I did not give in to temptation! I was feeling mighty darn proud of myself and then on Friday morning, Brian and I woke up giggling at each other, whispering as the sun rose on our little town. Brian: <whisper, giggle> Wanna know what I got you for your birthday? Me: <Freaking out, screaming, squealing> YES!!!! YESYESYES!!!!!! Neighbor upstairs: <Thump, thump, thump> SHADDAP DOWN THERE! Brian: <giggling again, grabbing paper bag> Here! Open it! Me: <hesitating> No. I can't. <pouting> (I don't think I can be this well behaved for much longer. It's killing me. I was BORN to be a horrible snooper. Resistance is futile! I will be assimilated back to how I was before I was reformed ohhhhnoooooI'mgonnahaftaopenthisit'sTORTURETORTURETORTURE HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Heather: <GRAB, RIP, LOOK, BLINK, BLINK, GROWL> Brian: <explosion of hysterical laughter> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Mehitabel:< runs away in fear> How sweet. In that bag was a simple 'Caught-you-snooping' note that read: "I love you!" on it. Very funny. Ha Ha. <Thwack> So we did a bit of a role reversal on that one. He was so sure I would behave badly. And I was doing everything I could to behave. I didn't snoop, and his little CAUGHT-YA-SNOOPING note was worthless. Well, it was worthless till I caved in. <shrug>Sorry, folks, I had to. I've got a reputation to uphold afterall. ;-) Peace, till next. |
|
6/16/03 - Monday First off, I want to thank everyone who emailed me this morning. I was so surprised when I woke up and found my email box filled with messages of concern for the boys. Apparently there was a major skydiving plane crash yesterday in PA. You can read a little bit about it here. Our thoughts go out to the families of those involved in this horrible accident. The boys are safe and sound though. And I want to thank you all for taking the time to write to me to check in. I will write more tomorrow. Peace, till next. |
|
6/12/03 - Thursday - Spank Someone Day! (I don't mean beat-someone-down day, I mean give someone you adore a cute li'l pat on the bottom. It'll make you both smile. ;-) WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO! Check this out!! click me! I'm (sorta) famous! And then click here for our latest addition to our free clothing contest! So if you're a total ham, and a complete media tramp like I am, get your picture in the paper wearing one of my gowns, credit www.verymerryseamstress.com and you can win a $150 gift certificate! Brian and the boys have planned a fun, adventurous weekend (again!) Geof, Tim, Joe, Me and Brian will be getting some great paddling action in (calling for rain all weekend, of course). Chico has left for a different trip to do another record-breaking skydive formation. If the weather is decent, we'll try to do a day-long rock climbing venture at The 'Gunks! We're really lucky to have so many fabulous activities right here in one great state! (We love NY!) So, many things to do today, among them, a fabric shopping trip and a HUGE shipment of gowns! Sorry to be so short, but I promise to make up for it with lots and lots of funny camping/climbing/kayaking/skydiving pictures on Monday! Peace, till next. |
|
6/11/03 - Wednesday - Apology day! I skipped a day yesterday - I'M SORRY! :-( But I think you'll forgive me because I HAVE THE ANSWERS!!
What on earth could
these be used for?? We had a few fun answers: The truth: However, in colder water, or when you're wearing thick neoprene gloves, it's harder to find that thin loop. So Brian attaches Barbie heads to everyone's loops so WE DON'T DIE when we flip over!! Betcha never knew that Barbie was such a lifesaver! Brian also does this because every where we go people ask, "Dude? What's the Barbie for?" and it makes us all giggle. ;-) Second object:
This object is a pretty piece of foam used in kayaks to make the fit to your hips nice and secure. Surprisingly they are called "Hip Pads!" You place them in your kayak around your kayak seat, using layers if needed, and it keeps the kayak snug to your hips - which is necessary in order to have proper control for rolling and swaying in rapids. And finally the third object:
This critter is used in parachutes! It is the spring-action boingy thing that shoots from your 'chute when your main canopy doesn't work right. This bad boy will allow your RESERVE parachute to open properly and will save your life, hopefully! Brian keeps promising some RESERVE parachute footage on his groovy website, but I'm not sure it's up yet. You can check here, and if he's not living up to his promises, yell at him! Be good fans! Tell him you want quality website content! (Don't let him fool ya, he's an html GENIUS!) And click here to see Brian modeling the latest fashions from Paris. If you want to see him in action in N'awlins, click here. A very fun group of creative folks, indeed! Have I mentioned that his office has a SLIDE?!?! Yes, a SLIDE - the kind you see in playgrounds around the world! HOW LUCKY IS HE?!?!?! (Almost as lucky as the gal who had the town's Memorial Day parade lined up on her front lawn! ;-) Brian has done some amazing website work for this company, but I can't find it! He was showing me this little "game" where you can shave his coworker's head. Grrr. Can't find it. I'll have to pester the boy a bit tonight and have him show me the good stuff so I can share it with y'all! Trying to talk Ambie into coming out this weekend. We weren't chosen for Flugtag, apparently. So we will have to find another way to make idiots out of ourselves. ;-) Ummmm. Nothing else interesting today - 'cept I've got a TON of work to do! So, I guess that's all fer now! ;-) Peace, till next. |
|
6/09/03 - D'oh! MONDAY! Young Brian has returned from his trip to N'awleans. He and about 16 other workmates wandered down to Bourbon Street for a seminar. YEAH, RIGHT, a "seminar." <wink, wink, nudge, nudge> When I went to pick him up at the airport, I was greeted by a herd of VERY hungover, VERY sleep-deprived people. I get a great amount of pleasure being my usual obnoxiously P E R K Y self around really tired, really hungover people. I'm sure you've got a great visual going, so I'll leave it at that. ;-) I took Bri to lunch at Red Slobster, and he couldn't bear to eat seafood after being so spoiled down in cajun-crawdaddy-land all weekend, so he ate a burger. He came home and slept for the rest of the afternoon and I finally forced him outta bed at 7 pm. So, while he was sleeping, I pulled a few things from his hobby closet and snapped some pics so we can play <drumroll> "Guess what
this item from Brian's hobby It's my busy season, so I won't have time to award actual prizes, but here's what I can do though - I won't have a chance to respond to emails, but I will post the winners and their winning answers in this handy-dandy journal. If you're correct with your answers (or at least FUNNY) I will post your name and funny/correct-answer email and you will become instantly famous! K, first object, it;s very recognizable, but what does he use these things for?:
About two years ago, he told me he needed many of these, but he only needed the heads. Imagine his surprise when I introduced him to eBay - where you can buy not only ONE head, but a whole baggie of FORTY heads - which is what we got. All you have to do is tell me what he does with them!! :-) Second object:
Hint: I'm not positive, but I think the first and second objects both involve the same hobby! If you didn't know any better, you'd think it was just pack-rat type junk, but if I'm right, it has a very specific purpose! (I'll double check with Brian on this one - if I'm wrong, I'll let ya know!) And finally the third object:
Good luck, have fun, and if you figure out what they are and what they're for, drop me a line! I won't have time to respond to everyone's emails, but I'll post the correct answers as soon as I get them - or when you all give up and start begging for the answers! ;-) Peace, till next. |
|
6/06/03 - FRIDAY!!! WOOHOO DAY!!!! Dear friends, It's New York, it's sunny, it's warm, it's Friday and I'm swamped, so I'm going to take a day off from the Daily Stitch and *hopefully* finish in time to enjoy a bit of this rare day! I also have a ton of family obligations this weekend, so I probably won't get a chance to add new journal entries until Monday. If you're reading, just drop me a line to let me know you're out there! I just want to make sure I haven't put you all to sleep! I would really love some feedback about this journal thing - What do YOU want to read about (because it really is all about YOU!) And if you send me really funny mail, I will post it in my journal and make you FAMOUS! Say it with me: "WOOHOO!" (That's why today is WOOHOO day!) I was thinking about having a contest for all you "Stitch" readers, and I thought a really FUN one would be "Guess what this item from Brian's hobby closet is and what it's for!" He's got an entire walk-in closet dedicated to all of his hobbies and some of it's funny and some of it is head-scratchingly bizarre. I thought I'd snap a few shots and let you all have some fun with it, trying to identify items and telling me what they are used for. Whattaya think? Wanna play? If so, let me know! Talk to me, folks! Let me know you're out there - and if you're enjoying the Daily Stitch, send it to other people and let them in on the fun! ;-) Happy WOOHOO Day! Peace, till next. |
|
6/05/03 - Thursday! Date Day! So here's the deal: If you don't have a date for tonight, find one. That's your only goal for the day. You don't have to work (tell your boss I said it's ok and he/she will totally understand) - just find a date! It doesn't have to be a romantic one - it can be a friend, or a sister - just get out and do something fun tonight. You have my permission to play. :-) (always) On to more important things: Okay, people, where are your brains? I'm talking about THIS. It's clever and witty and someone had a lot of time on their hands to come up with those groovy photoshopped pics, but let's think about it for a minute here, mmm-kay? For those who are reading this at a later date, this is an eBay auction for a "ghost in a jar" - and the auction, at this time, has 68 bids, and the price is over $17,000 You also get your very own mason jar filled with dirt and a "ghost", and you also get "The Black Thing" that has been pestering this poor seller. He claims to have found both the "Ghost in a Jar," "The Black Thing" and a mysterious crumbling journal all near a cemetery. He has pictures of the jar, pictures of the cemetery (with creepy spooky people in the pictures) and a bunch of info about how he got it all. Being the ever-so-curious critter that I am, I can't help but wonder a few things: Who would think to bring a camera while you were out metal detecting? I wouldn't. I would just assume that I could bring whatever I found home and snap a few shots. But I s'pose anything's possible. So, we'll give the guy a bit of credit and believe that he had his camera with him that day back in 1980 and really DID snap pictures of the creepy cemetery with the creepy ghost-people in it. Can anyone tell me what "Sha-ra," Pen-ta," and "cor-ta" means? Personally I think it sounds like some words a bunch of funny kids thought up while having a few PBRs one night. "DUDE! Ghost-in-a-jar! It's BRILLIANT" "Hahaha! Yeah, dude! Gimme a beer - we could take some white out and paint some freak-weird voodoo words on the side of an old mason jar" "Hahahaha! Yeah, dude! Gimme a beer too, while yer up! Shaaaaa-raaaa, Pennnnnnn-taaaaaa, cooooooor-taaaaaaaa . . . Hahahaha!" "Dude, cut it out, man - yer freakin' me" "Whatever, Gimme a beer." I want to know why he is so sure "The Black Thing" is going to travel wherever the canned ghost goes? I don't think ghosts pay very much attention to eBay . . . and finally, WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE BIDDING ON THIS????? Geesh! If you want scary stuff, come clean out my refrigerator! You won't even have to PAY ME! If you really want to unload that amount of cash though, just drop a check in the mail to me and I'll gather up some white fabric, download some spooky noises from the internet and I'll head over to your house and give you a "haunting" you'll never forget! I gotta give credit to the folks who caught on to this Ghost in a Jar thing and decided to cash in on the whole frenzy. I love creative people, so I want to share a few other auctions with you too: Click here to bid on a "Ghost in a Jar Vacation Home!" It's a pretty blue jar you can use when your ghost in a jar wants to travel. The seller also writes: REMEMBER, YOU MAY BE GETTING THE "BLACK THING" ALSO. "IT" WILL NEED A PLACE TO STAY!" Heh. I love people. Also, click here to buy some "Toast in a Jar!" Now, toast in a jar itself is cute and funny, but what REALLY cracked me up about this auction is that in the top photo, it shows a dirty toaster. The next picture shows a pristine, pure white, clean toaster. I thought to myself, "Huh, that's weird!" and then I read the note next to the second image: "Here is the actual slice of toast emerging from the toaster. This photo required a bunch of cleanup in photoshop. It probably would have been easier to actually clean the toaster." Now THAT is funny! And this cute li'l number - Click here to purchase a "Kelty Backpack for Holding a Ghost in a Jar" And finally, click here to see a Ghost in a Jar Display Stand. VERY classy and extremely versatile. Heh, these are the people I want working for ME someday when I'm ruling the world. (Yeah, don't hold your breath) Peace, till next. |
|
6/03/03 - Tuesday! I' ve got some really fun links to share with you today. So be prepared to waste a lot of time. That's what Tuesdays are for anyway, right? On Sale Faire Gowns: Oh yeah, before I forget, I am cleaning out my sample Renaissance gown closet because I don't want to move all these costumes to the new house. I've listed them all wellllllllll below half price and there won't be any more of these particular gowns on eBay, so bid/buy now! If ya snooze, ya lose and we're coming into "busy season' too! This is the *only* way to get garb "now" instead of waiting four weeks for me to make it. These auctions all end on June 7, so don't miss out on this affordable opportunity! Click here to see the goodies - mostly Scottish garb - bid early and bid high! :-) Last night Brian sent me this: click me. This is an EXCELLENT time-waster. I played with it for quite a while and came up with this: click me. And if you click "clear," you can waste a lot of time too! Fun with Paper: This one is another time killer - but if you're creative, it's really kind of fascinating. You can make very elaborate papercraft animals and motorcycles (not sure what the connection is there, but, whatever) and everything is written out in a very easy-to-follow format. This is a very family-friendy site and is GREAT entertainment for children! Click here for papercraft fun! Broke: My gal Ambie hooked me up with this great writer. Angela Nissel wrote 'The Broke Diaries' and it's got to be one of the funniest books I've ever read. If you don't own this book, you should. If you're too broke to own it, steal it. (kidding - go to the library, ya thief!) And if you're too broke to get to the library, then you need to get a better job! But until you get one, go to her website: Click me. Live with strangers: Speaking of broke, if you *love* to travel, but are always lacking the funds to do it, check this place out. You can swap houses with weird people all over the world. You can have a perfect stranger staying in your home, snooping through all your personal stuff, while you are in THEIR home, snooping through THEIR personal stuff! There's a whole page of positive testimonials, and none of them say anything about finding rubber chickens hanging from the ceilings, so it might be worth checking into if you've got the wanderlust! Click here to stay in a stranger's home! The House: Brian and I are meeting with the Real Estate agent today, and we'll be going through the house with the engineer to make sure that the house is NOT going to collapse on us. I guess this is normal - even though the house looks sturdy, and everyone has told us it's sturdy, we can't be sure until Mr. Engineer gives us two thumbs up. We're bringing the digital camera so you can see what our "new," but needs-an-update home looks like. We see TONS of potential - trust us. ;-) So, for those who are dying to see what we just blew all of our money on (haha, it's not really OUR money - some crazy bank was foolish enough to give it to us! haha!) I will be posting pictures tomorrow! Be sure to tune in for a good, hearty chuckle as you sigh and mutter, "Ohhhh, Heather. What have you gotten yourself into?" Peace, till next. |
|
6/02/03 - Monday! Birthdays: Tomorrow is my sister's birthday! Huzzah, Happy Happy, and Very Merry to Sister! Wee-bee-bree-bee, my beautiful step-neice has a birthday this week too! And in case anyone in this world has forgotten (poking Brian in the ribs), I will be turning 35 this year and my birthday is in exactly 19 days! I hate surprises. I am a chronic snoop. I hate *knowing* that somewhere in the house a birthday gift is waiting for me undiscovered. At Christmas, I have been known to open presents as soon as they have been placed under the tree, and have spent hours re-wrapping them so nobody will find out how positively evil I am. I'm not ungrateful - I'm just obsessively curious - and that's a good thing . . . sometimes . . . . right? Brian has a lot of fun with this horrible personality affliction of mine. Two weeks ago he announced that he bought me my birthday present. He does this because he knows it makes me utterly INSANE. He did it at Christmas too - and for two months I hit him with a multitude of revealing questions: Me: Is it RED? Me: Is it BIGGER than
me? Me: Does it have a
WHEEL? Me: What letter does
it start with? Me: (Grrrrrrrr) So, the day before Christmas, I had convinced myself that Brian bought me a portable Movie theater popcorn cart. Imagine my surprise when I opened the deceptive refrigerator-sized gift box to find a beautiful violin inside. *sigh* Brian, ever the romantic, has turned the hide-and-seek game of pre-gift giving into an elegant art form, and as with everything in his life, he has mastered it to the point of perfection and it makes me C R A Z Y. He tells me that somewhere within the confines of these walls hides a birthday gift bearing my name. So far I have not torn the place apart, (but I *want* to). I'm trying to behave, (and it's VERY hard). Even as I pause between sentences at my computer, I am stealing curious glances under tables, in corners, up walls, around ceilings, behind the stinkycat . . . . Oh yeah, <acting oh-so-casual> We bought a house yesterday. Since you've all come to know me, you also know that it was absolute torture to wait this long to tell y'all about it and then to announce it so calmly - you KNOW I was freaking out, bouncing off the walls as soon as Mary our real estate agent called and told us the good news!!!! But YES! My logic WORKED and the house was PERFECT and our offer was ACCEPTED and we close in JULY!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOOOOO, Party at Heather's!!!! Peace, till next. |
