How do I light a torch under the collective buttocks of the people who hold our future in their hands? I'm talking about bankers and lawyers and surveyors. These people have been hemming and hawing over the closing of our home since May of this year. How do I get this FINISHED?
We've been waiting for one stupid map for about three weeks now - we were supposed to close this deal back on July 25, and we were expecting minor delays - all people who buy houses go through this, right?
But here it is, nearly a month later, and we still can't move in because of some crazy map that the surveryor has not faxed to our laywers.
We have to vacate our apartment in exactly 11 days. We paid our August rent in the hopes that we could enjoy a nice, slow move. But nope. We're going to have to cram everything into garbage bags and drag it over in 4 hours if things keep moving at this fine snail's pace.
This makes me want to stalk that surveryor a little bit. Makes me want to sit in the lawyer's office till he hands me those papers to sign. Makes me want to plop my butt in the bank's line and hope it'll make them move just a little bit faster. Maybe if I wore a Bo Peep costume and asked people waiting with me,
"Excuse me sir, I seem to have lost my closing date. Can you help me find it?"
/rant.