I am not going insane. I do not want an enormous turkey club sandwich with extra mayonnaise and crispy bacon, with extra turkey, mayonnaise and bacon on the side. Pizza is BAD. Chocolate cake is for sinners. Cheesecake will destroy your life and you will wind up living in a cardboard box. I don't need General Tso's chicken to make my life complete. Donuts are over-rated, especially when they are Krispy Kremes. Cardboard is perfectly good food. If it's good enough for hamsters, it's good enough for me.
I am not going insane. Four channels of local television, including the finest ghetto-Jerry-Springer-type-programming-America-has-to-offer is magnificent. Who needs cable? Cable is for the weak.
I am not going insane. 10 minutes of daily allotted Dialup internet is more than enough for the average American. Five minutes to download SPAM and unwanted porn emails, three minutes to delete them, leaving two minutes to respond to friends and loved ones. Sure, that's enough. DIE SPAMMERS, DIE!!!!!!!
I am not going insane. My fingers aren't twitching from sewing withdrawal. My mind isn't becoming an empty, cavernous void from lack of use. I drool because it's healthy. The blank stare is healthy. Sedentary living is healthy. Peeing in a big red jug should be the highlight of everyone's day. Convince yourself and others will believe too. . . . .
I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. I am not going insane. . . . . . .
Peace, till next