All of Brian's co-workers were jealous about what Brian was getting to go home to yesterday. (For those who forgot, he got to come home to trim Skye's smelly butt hairs.)
Why didn't I do it? Besides the fact that smelly butt hair makes me vomit, I'm also nine months pregnant and I happen to be Skye's favorite chew toy.
Skye has a VERY short list of people who are allowed anywhere near his hind quarters. I am not on that list. The vet is not on that list. In fact, the only person on that list is Brian. Which is why he always gets the honor of trimming Skye's smelly butt hairs.
Brian, the dog whisperer, and Skye, the most pathetic dog on earth. Doesn't he make you want to weep for him?
Yeah, well, don't feel TOO sorry for him. He got himself into this situation by knocking over the garbage can, dragging potato peels all over the house and eating half of them, then greedily sucking down discarded chicken skin and grease from the garbage bag. I think that would give ANYONE smelly butt issues.
Baby update: My doctor called yesterday and although my test results aren't fabulous, they aren't anything to worry about immediately. He's going to wait till Tuesday's appointment and see how things are progressing. If there are any indications that my body is ready for delivery, he might induce. I'll be 37 weeks by then.
Brian is obsessing over our bedroom ceiling. It bothers him because it has a ripple. I keep telling him that nobody is looking at our ceiling and talking about the ripple behind his back. I keep reminding him that "Done is GOOD" with regard to the bed/bath construction project.
I also give him two statements of wisdom passed down to me from my father:
"You can't see it from the road." and "You ain't buildin' a church."
I woke up this morning and my tongue felt like a lead brick in my mouth,. I wondered if tongues would swell in extreme cases of water retention, so I asked Brian,
"Hey, I *know* my tongue is coated with the most unimaginable sleep-slime right now, but could you just take a peek and tell me if it looks particularly swollen?"
I stuck out my tongue and Brian looked at me with that "yeah, honey-don't-ask-me-because-all-tongues-look-the-same-to-me" expression on his face.
I got up and did my usual morning routine, and after a few sips of water, my tongue felt smaller (and better), so I have to assume it's because I probably slept with my mouth open and drooled all night, causing my tongue to dry up like a salted slug.
At times like this, I can't help but wonder what the Hell Brian sees in me. Must be because I *don't* have smelly butt hair.
Peace, till next