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« July 2005 | Main | September 2005 »

August 31, 2005

Color me green with geeky envy

Meet my craptastic mouse - which, up until a few hours ago decided to stop working.

"How did it cure itself?" you ask. By being beaten against the wall. It's ONE WEEK OLD and NOT NEARLY ancient enough to croak on me yet, so I pounded it against the wall a few times and it seems to have knocked some sense into it. For now. Bah.

And this morning, after our power was out all night, my computer decided it was maybe going to die. But maybe not. It wasn't sure. I wound up canceling my fiddle lesson because:

A) we woke up late because the power was out and kiddo apparently didn't realize it was 6 am.

B) ailing computers send me into a panic

Anyway, on to bigger and better things - get this bit of fun: I have this customer, Sam, who at this very moment is, by far, the coolest person I know. Sam went to this Lord of the Rings convention wearing a dress I made for her. Yesterday she sent me some phenomenally cool pictures. And now, by association, I am feeling phenomenally cool.

Can you guess why?

That's right, folks. Something I made touched famous people. Oh, yes.
Recognize him?

billyboydsam1.jpg


It's Billy Boyd himself! Could he be any more adorable? And Sam looks gorgeous, as always.

oh, and she's standing RIGHT NEXT TO BILLY BOYD!!!!!!!

Legolas? Legolas who???


Peace, till next

August 30, 2005

Screaming crops

Brian has uploaded some seriously funny video clips of our kiddo. If you're up for a laugh, check them out.

This one is E-Beth feeding the seagulls. See if you can tell who is making the best bird noises - E-Beth or the seagulls!

And this one is a game Brian plays, called "The Choking Game." Before you start dialing the Choked Child Hotline, hang up. Redial, and then call the Choked Husband Hotline. I'm sure Brian would enjoy a mini-vacation at the Choked Husband Recovery Hospital.

And the garden. And the veggies.

It's been a bumper crop this year - and WOW, do I feel like Farm Girl USA having said that.

Peace, till next

August 26, 2005

Pass the demerol, please

This morning's pre-coffee conversation with Brian: Me: I had a dream you were building me a new house. It was enormous and so beautiful! Him: Really? Me: Yeah, but you were cheating on me with some other other chick. I was pretty angry. Him: Really! Me: Yeah, and you wanted me to go on medication so I could "deal with it better." Him: Hmmmm. So, if you go on medication, I can get a girlfriend? Me: No, you have to build me a new house first. THEN you can get a girlfriend. And then he told me that in the night I sat bolt upright, looked at him and said "OMG! I dreamed that we left the baby plugged in and turned on!" And then I rolled over and fell back asleep. I sure hope that new girlfriend of his knows how to change poopy diapers and do middle of the night feedings. It'll be nice to get a full night of sleep. Peace, till next

August 25, 2005

Holy tomatoes

Good grief, did our garden explode. Brian and Dad have been working furiously to keep up with the tomatoes, but they've lost the battle. The tomatoes have taken over our house, our yard, our lives.

I groggily wandered out of the bedroom this morning, and there were about six hundred and eight tomatoes in the kitchen. They covered countertops, the china cabinet, the corners of the room, even the dog bowl was filled with tomatoes.

I raised my finger, opened my mouth to speak the "getthemoutofmywayineedtomakecoffee" voice and Brian interrupted quickly, "I'll take them to the neighbors TODAY!" And he did.

Dad boiled down a few hundred or so, and canned another batch of sauce. My house smells like a fine Italian restaurant. It's heaven. Except for the tomatoes in my bed.

Yesterday dad made chili sauce. For those who have never smelled good, old fashioned chili sauce, you don't know what you're missing. It's a mix of tomatoes, (and everything else you need to get rid of from the garden), vinegar and a bucketload of cloves and cinnamon. It boils all day until it's a thick, chunky sauce, and then you can it to eat with just about anything. Divine stuff.

Dad and I spent last week picking on each other - him picking on me for spending almost $10 on a cherry pie, and me picking on him for not eating it because I paid almost $10 for it.

So, yesterday Dad came home from the store and said, "You know, Heather, I would actually pay almost $10 for cherry pie for one special reason. . . "

"what reason is that, Dad?" I asked.

I would have paid it for YOU, because I know you like cherry pie."

(awwww)

And he pulled out a giant pan of yummy-gooey-delicious frosted brownies for me. He's a keeper.

I'm so grateful that he's here with us. We've had so much fun this year with the garden, chatting, learning from him and having him spend time with the Elizacritter. He's done so much for us that he doesn't even realize. . .

Brian is now in love with gardening - something he had no interest in before Dad came to stay with us. We have such a beautiful garden too - a fine one, for certain. Our sunflowers are probably 12-5 feet tall and proud. The pumpkins are fat and orange, just waiting for the cool, crisp weather to arrive. The tomatoes - well, let's just say I have a better understanding of the movie "Attack of the Killer Tomates."

Brian and Dad have started a few experiments too - Bonsais on the porch, pickles, (crocked cukes, pickled EVERYTHING and special pickles), composting, seed buying, flower growing, flower gardening, and IBC root beer drinking.

Elizabeth spends much of her time looking around the room for Grandpa, who will GLADLY do the Bucca-bucca dance for her (even if officer friendly won't!) He claps for her when the veggie-stars actually make it to her mouth. She grins that crazy toothless grin for him at the drop of a hat. In the mornings, she knows that when the floor above creaks, Grandpa will soon be coming down the stairs, and she turns her head to watch and wait for him to appear in the doorway.

She's going to be heartbroken when he returns to Florida for the winter (and so will we.)

And I got to spend the summer hanging out with my Dad.

Can anyone send me the recipe for warm winters? Dad said he'd stay if we can make it be 75 degrees and sunny on New Year's Day. I'd love to make it so.

My friend, Frista, decided that she needed a nickname for me. So I told her about all of the boring nicknames I had growing up, and that wished that I could have a COOL nickname, like "Crash," or "Godiva."

And she thusly nick-named me Godiva Crash. I wondered if it sounded too "porn-star-ish" but she wrote this:

I don't think it sounds like a porn star! I picture a girl wearing one of those old fashioned striped bathing suits from the 1920s, with little curls of hair escaping her swimming cap, running down the beach, past little old fashioned ladies who turn their noses up and remain prim while looking at her beauty, her strength, her courage.

I wish I could cook all of these wonderful experiences, sights and smells from my life into a nice, chunky sauce, bottle it up and save it for wintry, sulky days. But I suppose, even if I could, it would lose something in the process. After all, canned corn just isn't the same as nibbling those buttery morsels off the cob. Tomatoes from a jar just don't retain that sunshine-warmed sweetness. So I'll hold out for next summer when Dad and the geese fly north and we'll savor another summer . . . and hope the tomatoes don't kill us first.


Peace, till next

August 24, 2005

That's right. I fiddle.

That's right, folks. It's official: I'm a fiddler.

Today was lesson number two and I played my first tune. I broke my first string. I fiddle. Yeah, you can call me Fiddle Piper.

On my way to the lesson, I pass an enormous field of sunflowers. It's absolutely the most joyful scene to oncounter in the morning and it makes you forget about all the numpties in this world.

My fiddle teacher is a peach. He's jolly and perky and chipper. his excitement for fiddle playing can only be compared to a bucket of puppies. It's hopelessly contagious.

I sang "Boil Cabbage Down" all the way home (The song I learned). I will take my fiddle in tomorrow (hopefully) to have it restrung, buy new strings, rent a new one (while they replace the bridge) and then I'm gonna hike out back, sit on a stump and practice Boilin' Cabbage Down.

No more makin' babies cry. Nosirree. I'm a fiddle player now. Babies will smile when I screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech my bow. . . .

I hope. Or I'm gonna have the shortest-lived fiddle-playin' career ever.

Peace, till next

August 18, 2005

Why did the chicken bark at the cops?

It was Monday night and Brian, Elizabeth and I were heading to the Chinese take-out shop ordering dinner. We walked in and two burly-men officers of the Honeoye Falls Law were standing in line ahead of us. Because our baby is The Cutest Baby On Earth, they both turned around and started smiling at her, trying to make her laugh.

No luck. Kiddo wasn't taking the opportunity to make points with Officers Friendly and Friendlier.

So the cops started cracking jokes at the E-Baby.

Cop one: Yeah, he is pretty goofy looking. You should laugh at him!

Cop Two: Ha. Ha. Ha.

Me: (shaking head, butting in, and risking arrest) Excuse me, but you're not doing it right. If you want her to smile, you have to do the "Bucca-bucca-bucca dance."

I folded my hands in my armpits, flapped my arms, and cocked my neck back and forth as I said the words "bucca-bucca-bucca."

Elizababy roared. Brian roared - not because E-Baby was laughing - but because I was standing in a Chinese take-out restaurant, trying to convince two Officers of the Honeoye Falls Law to do the Bucca-bucca-bucca dance.


Peace, till next

August 02, 2005

Watch him change

If you'd like to waste a lot of time creating a cartoon version of yourself to see what you look like doing a stripteae, you can do it here. Hubby sent me a link of himself doing an animated love monkey dance. Great stuff.

Personal thought: What's the deal with neck cheese on babies? How is it that little kiddos can get so much disgusting gunk stuck in the fat folds under their chins?

I made my child cry for the first time today. I am scheduled to begin fiddle lessons in a few weeks, so I purchased a shoulder rest. I pulled out my bow and ran it across the strings a few times, and sounded out a nasty "I'm an eviscerated cat" noise. Poor E-Critter looked at me with such horror - and then cried out in woeful pain. I'm worried now that I'll have to practice my fiddle lessons out in the back forty with the mosquitos and horseflies. . . .

Keep in mind that this sensitive, delicate flower is the same child who will sit in her "screaming chair" (the exersaucer) and hold little Henrietta Hippo up to her face, as though having a serious conversation about the politics of neck cheese, and in place of actual conversation, will emit brain-seizing screams that could peel the wings off fleas.

Child has also learned how to spit. She spits when she eats. She spits when she drools. If she has no drool, she'll gladly work up a gob just for you. No, really, she doesn't mind at all. Just hold still and sppppttttttttttbrrrrrrpttttttttttt. And if she really loves you, she'll add a bit of squash to the mix and you can be just as orange as she is.

She's poised to crawl - but hasn't taken that final leap of faith yet. She'll pose on all fours, rocking back and forth, waiting for the perfect moment, and then she solidly face-plants.

Daddy's little girl, alright. I just hope she doesn't start doing animated internet strip teases anytime soon.

Peace, till next