The Stitch

So many of my friends right now are dealing with horrible self-esteem/image issues and it breaks my heart to watch them go through it. My theory is that people aren't allowed to be as free and open with compliments as they should be. I think it's crazy that' we're so uptight about something that makes other people feel so good.

I dole out compliments to people all the time. Sometimes these people are complete strangers. Sometimes they look at me funny, and sometimes I am ignored. But once in a while it means something. People smile and I know I've done something to make their day a little bit brighter.

I want to know why random compliments aren't something that's considered widely acceptable. Why is it taboo to walk up to a complete stranger and tell them that they have captivating eyes, or that their smile stopped you in your tracks? Why can't we tell people that we are awestruck and inspired by their brilliance or are moved by their boundless patience?

On the flip side, why is it (for some people) acceptable to drive down the road and flip a rabid middle finger to a complete stranger or shout a string of obscenities in their direction? Why is that something people often brag about? We're often treating the strangers around us deplorably. It's no wonder so many people are so hard on themselves - we're too busy treating each other like crap to ever feel good about ourselves.

Why are we so enthusiastic when we behave badly? We have boundless energy when we're screaming at the car in front of us for driving slowly. However, when an act of kindness is presented to us, it's usually met with a response that lacks any amount of warmth.

Can't we turn all that angry energy around and put it toward kindnesses? When someone generously waves you ahead into traffic, why stop at that lukewarm wave of the hand? Why not take it a step further and show some eager gratitude by blowing a big, fat kiss their direction and offering an enthusiastic wave? I know if I were on the receiving end of a gesture like that, it would certainly encourage me to be much more generous with kindnesses.

Can our society turn this situation around so that people are heartily rewarded for being kind to one another? Or are we doomed to pat ourselves on the back for being tougher and badder and meaner to the people around us? Can we be kind to each other in such a way that we can start looking at ourselves and not be so damned critical? Can we start to reclaim the things that make us wonderfully unique and beautiful, and recognize these positive attributes in ourselves?