The Stitch

It started with her ability to slip her arms out of sleeves. She then figured out how to slip shirts over her head. Pants came next and within a few weeks our pretty in pink pajama'd baby would wake up nearly-naked in a soggy Huggie.

We didn't think much of her need to disrobe. This is normal. Kids learn by experience. She was learning how to dress and undress, so this was to be expected.

What we did NOT expect was to enter our beautiful baby's bedroom and find her covered in a thick layer of her own feces.

It happened yesterday. She has been protesting naps for two days, and after an hour or so of listening to her babble to Snoopy, we decided to check in and make sure she was ok. What I found was a turd-smeared stinkchild, grinning ear to filthy ear, rather proud of her accomplishments.

"Look, ma. I paint!"

I brought her downstairs and hopped straight into the shower with her. No fussing with dainty spot-cleaning baby wipes - this job called for a serious hose-down. NOTE: Squirming poo and soap-covered babies in a shower are EXTREMELY slippery. Proceed with caution if you ever attempt such a job on your own.

We learned a valuable lesson about snap-crotch onesies yesterday: You can never have too many, and babies have a very hard time figuring them out. No more cutesy grown-up tee-shirts for Elizabeth. She's reverting back to the onesies for the next YEAR, or at least until she figures out how to poop in the toilet.

Special thanks to Brian's mom for forbidding her son to post any more baby poop pictures on the internet. Because by the time the baby was clean, I was covered.

For those who don't know me well, this is serious growth. Two years ago I would go into a fit of dry heaves if I saw people eating worms on Fear Factor. Now, not only can I HOLD a poopy child, but I can simultaneously wash her without gagging. Brian was so impressed with the whole event, he decided to give the dog a bath too. Now the whole Piper clan sparkles like the teeth of a crooked politician. Oh, and we smell good too.