The Stitch

If you don't have pets, you will be completely disgusted by this story. Trust me, don't read it if you don't have pets.

You have been warned.

Anyone who has ever had a pet has also had the delightful opportunity, at one time, or another, to wake in the morning, stumble around in the dark, only to step in a pile of one of the following:

1) warm vomit
2) cold vomit
3) warm poo
4) cold poo

All four are equally terrible.

And it's always, always much worse if you're barefoot.

I've had cats and dogs all my life, and no matter how hard you work to avoid having your pet puke or poop on the floor, it cannot be avoided. Fluffycat will sneak into the kitchen at four am and eat a pound of butter, then vomit at the foot of your bed. Or Spottydog will steal a greasy pork chop from the garbage while you're not looking and come down with a nasty case of the squitters in the middle of the night. You'll find it as you make your half-asleep trek to the coffeemaker and will skid 10 feet across the kitchen floor. When you finally crash on your butt, you're always certain you will either die of a heart attack, or from poop-stinkification at that point.

Well, this morning I tried something new. Mehitabel the cat caught a mouse sometime during the night, and left it half dead at the foot of the bed. I barely stepped on it and COMPLETELY freaked out as is SCREAMED AT ME. As I stood in the doorway, crying, unable to put my tainted foot back on the floor, Brian came running in the "take care of things." At 5:30 am, third-trimester moody, this is not a good way to wake up. I don't care how tough you are - you would have cried too.

I showered, scrubbed myself raw and felt horrible for the poor little mouse.

I have been able to ascertain what's the worst thing to step in, though. SCREAMING, BLEEDING, HALF-DEAD MOUSE is definitely worse than steaming OR frosty cold poop or vomit ANY day of the week.

Including the day after Halloween.